And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She bit a glass in half.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
