oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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