Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
