It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
