Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
