if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
