Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
