kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
