The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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