Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
