I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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