Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
