So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
