is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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