My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
