yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
