Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
