Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
