You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
