You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm always down for nudity.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
