Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like abortions should bother me more
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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