the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
