Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm always down for nudity.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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