I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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