You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Buhtt sex?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
