Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
