i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
