Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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