i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it hurts more in the daytime
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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