So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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