And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize