hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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