dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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