Moan for me like Helen Keller
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
