I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
