Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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