The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
3 2 1 whiskey
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
