There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You smell like a Billy Joel song
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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