i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
