well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my being single is dangerous.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
