I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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