i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
