There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
