Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
