Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
