Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
