Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
