So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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