Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
