I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
