I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
