and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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