I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
